Right now, in a galaxy not so far far away, the earth to be precise. On Camden Passage in London to be even more precise, there lies “Issy’s Milky Way’, a 50s retro style coffee shop. Once you step inside of the shop, you will be convinced that you’ve traveled back in time, back to the 50s. Well, I never had the pleasure of being born in the 50s but I always imagined this is how a 50s coffee shop would look like, just like Issy’s Milky Way. There is Elvis memorabilia displaying on the walls and shelfs; there is a retro jukebox standing at one corner then a black and white TV hanging up at another corner, TV plays all 50s TV programmes. Even the waitress and the waiter are dressed in retro styled clothing, completed with a retro style hair for the waitress and an Elvis style shiny, oiled up hair do for the waiter, they really thought about every single detail. All the cakes they sell are home-made, they are not just pleasing for your eyes, they sure will please your tummy as well. I’ve decided that next time I go there, I should dress up in 50s style, like one of the extras from Mad Men. Otherwise, I’m running the risk of feeling like Marty McFly in ‘Back to the Future’, traveled back in time but wearing the wrong clothes . Seriously, next time if you travel back in time and want to blend in, you should really think about what to wear, it’s all in the details.
Some people really like to show their funny side to the world, literally, by tattooing their body with funny images ( at least they think it’s funny). Ink is forever, right? no regrets, people. Seriously doubts it, at least for this person, lesson number one, make sure your tattoo artist can spell the word first.
I have to confess that Channel 4’s fly on the wall documentary, Big Fat Gypsy Weddings has been my guilty pleasure since the day I discovered it, please don’t judge me, I’ve heard that Brad Pitt is obsessed with the programme as well so if you’re judging me which means you’re judging Mr Pitt, how dare you to judge Mr Pitt? To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m watching it. The series are filled with young gypsy women wear outrageous custom-made wedding dresses (in previous series, I even saw a bride wore a wedding dress decorated with fair lights, she lit up like a Christmas tree), fake tans, fake nails, sparkling crystals. I thought I was a true magpie before ( I’ve got a crystal encrusted iPhone cover) but dear, wait until you see these gypsy girls, I seriously think that they are single-handedly supporting the crystal production business in the whole wide world. This is trashy TV at its best, I’m none of these things like gypsy girls, I hope but yet, my eyes can’t move away from the TV, someone stops me please, or maybe don’t.
The new series starts with an Irish traveller, Dolores ordered a pineapple and a palm tree dress for her and her sister to wear for the hen party. She then ordered a cat wedding dress, yes, you heard it right the first time, it’s a cat wedding dress that it’s custom-made, the dress is encrusted with crystals and it has Baby Phat logo cat all over the dress. They never revealed the cost of the wedding dresses for the brides, in fact, they guard it as a secret but bear this in mind, the gypsy girls always go to this famous wedding dress-maker in Manchester for their wedding dresses. I noticed at previous series, the owner of the shop was driving an average car, delivering the wedding dress o her clients then from this new series, she’s driving a BMW X5 now. My estimate for each wedding dress is minimum £5000. Maybe I should open a wedding dress shop for gypsy girls as well. Let’s go back to the bride Dolores who was travelling through Europe with her family for business before the wedding ( never said what sort of business though). The family has three Porsche and Dolores wears crystal encrusted Bvlgari sunglasses. Dolores’s wedding was hosted in her home town in Rathkeale in Ireland, apparently Rathkeale is second richest town in Ireland with its 50% of population are gypsies. But the impressions weren’t over as she had ordered a cake that was just as outrageous as her dress. Being made in North Wales, the sugary treat was made to fit in with the feline theme and featured ten tiers as well as 14 smaller versions of the main cake that would surround it at the wedding reception.
The new series also featured a beauty contest especially for gypsy girls. Sammy Jo, 16 was one of the contestants. In preparation for the contest, Sammy went to a tanning salon for some sun bed. When asked if she’s concerned about getting skin cancer from using too much sun bed. Her answer was quite controversial, ‘If i knew someone that got it I would cut it down a bit more, but at the end of the day if I get cancer, I get cancer – at least I’ll look good.’ Yes, dear, that’s the spirit! The beauty contest was judged by two local hairdressers, the organiser’s wife and someone from a talent agency. Sammy didn’t win in her super sexy outfit, they settled on crowning Romany gypsy, Montana, the winner but this caused a bit of outrage among the other contestants, complaining that her outfit was boring and her make-up too simple. Well, just another normal day in a gypsy girl’s life!
Red roses, heart shaped chocolates, ‘I love you’ banners display in shop windows, you know Valentine’s Day is approaching – or as men like to call it, Extortion Day! I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. Because when I think romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby, naked toddler coming at me with a weapon. Anyway, put that thought aside, I still love Valentine’s Day. What can I say? I’m a hopeless romance. I know people say that all you need is love, but a little present now and then doesn’t hurt. Time to start dropping hints, ladies and let me give you some ideas.
Rob Ryan his ‘n’ her together mugs, £16.95 from http://www.wildandwolf.com. They are just too sweet to resist, aren’t they?
Girls, sugar coat your style this summer with this year’s new fashion trend for candy colours. Indulge yourself in pretty pink, mint green, light violet, there is no need for calorie counting and there is no worry for tooth aching but do look out for passers-by try to lick you like a lollipop! Here is my costum built candy bar especially for you.
Topshop Light Violet See Through Dress
Ted Baker Kassady Crystal Bobble Matinee Purse £75
Images from: http://www.stellamccartney.co.uk/en/shop; http://www.zara.com; http://www.selfridges.com/en/Womenswear/Categories/Shoes-boots; http://www.topshop.com; http://www.whistles.com; http://www.tedbaker.com
To be honest, I’ve always been a big fan of fascinators. They are easy to wear and unlike the old fashioned hats, there is no danger of it flies off your head like a big flying saucer in a slightly windy situation. I wore a big hat to a wedding once, I was sweating like a woman who’s going through menopause. I looked like a big moving garden parasol, some of the guests put their beers under the shade of my hat to keep the beer cool. Then I had to deal with flat pancake hair once I took the hat off for the wedding meal inside. It put me off wearing hats to weddings forever. However, from a leaked copy of Royal Ascot’s new dress code this year, fascinators are banned from the royal enclosure. This really puzzles me as these decorative head pieces were made popular by the young royals such as Kate Middleton which does make you wonder what Royal Ascot’s beef with them is. Who would reject Kate Middleton? It must take a lot of royal guts to do it. I don’t know about you but I will be flying fascinators flag high and proud even though I might get arrest by the fascinators police.
P.S. unless you didn’t notice, the last photo is just me in my butterfly fascinator at a wedding and trying to blend in with all the celebrity photos. My husband thinks the fascinator is hideous but what does he know, right? He’s from Sweden, a country loves clean cut and simplicity. If he had his way, you would let me to wear a piece of white string on my head.